Get A Haircut!

One night I dreamt of you. I wasn't thinking about you before I slept. I swear. I tried not to think about you after you left and I promised myself not to communicate. Maybe it's wrong to assume but I'm not that stupid. Well, maybe I assumed too much that I overreacted but nothing changed so, I just wasted my time assuming and yeah, it was kinda stupid to do so. It just left me hanging and confused, with nothing to assert myself. But what can I do? I got nothing.

In my dream, I was chatting and laughing with a college friend when you came. I wasn't expecting you to come so your sudden appearance surprised me. I was stunned yet I didn't let it show. You looked at me. I looked back. I got up from my seat and came closer to my friend. I just ignored you even though I saw in your eyes that you were somehow confused why I didn't even acknowledge you or something. I didn't care. At all. That time. But again, that was a lie.

At first, I never thought I could really do that. To ignore you was hard for me to do but to pretend I was fine was even harder. It wasn't you to blame so don't worry. It was my fault. I just didn't expect myself to fall for something that would just break me apart.

You see, even in my dream I still felt it. The same feeling like in reality. I was so close to crying when I woke up.

True, we became friends just months ago. Maybe, you were thinking that writing you a letter was silly. Maybe, you were thinking that I'm not even serious or maybe I'm just playing around. Maybe, just maybe, I don't matter to you at all.

But the worst thing is I feel so envious. Every time I see her, I find myself so inferior.

I'm just not good enough.

And she has something I don't have, can't have, and will never have.

You know what, if I were her, I will never let you go.

Stupid girl.

Yet I'm grateful still that you didn't end up together.

She doesn't deserve you.

Neither do I.