What is wrong with me?

How I see myself is totally different from how others see me. I definitely know that. We perceive the same things uniquely and it depends on how we are taught and on our experiences in life. As we grow older and get mature, we learn to construct our own perception of everything that happens around us and of the people we get to meet everyday. 

Who I think is ordinary may be special to another. Someone who is special to me may see me as ordinary. Again, it's because we treat people differently based on how we perceive them. Nobody cares unless they see our worth but we don't need to waste time proving ourselves to them because truly enough, there is just One great and powerful up there who loves us unconditionally and that's more than enough to prove that we are indeed special and priceless.

If you find it difficult to let go, 

just think of how long you've been stupid enough to hold on. 

You always deserve better :)

I deserve better. But still, I can't easily understand why some person can't see the best in me. Or worse, I seem nothing to them even though I try hard to prove myself.

True, no one's perfect. But at least I know my worth and I know hers yet who am I to judge? I'm not in the right position to tell who's better because it depends on how people perceive us. 

I'm just confused now and intrigued. That's all.

Such a lame post. I'm just writing whatever runs through my mind, trying to reassure myself.

What am I doing? What's just so wrong with me?

Fudge. ANSWER ME! 

Whenever you feel worthless to someone, remember that God's love for you is priceless. And that's all that matters.

That's all that should matter.

*sigh*

But still, it's so disappointing to realize that I mean so nothing to the person whom I treasure so much. Sometimes I just want to leave and never come back but I can't. I just can't waste everything I did to abandon the friendship I tried hard to build. Actually, I'm used to it but for now, I think this is too unfair. 

People come and go. Maybe today I want to go for a while.

It's hard to keep someone who never even bothered to care.

Insensitive. 

It's never an accident to fall into the same pit again. 

I thought it's all over. For a long time I indulged myself into things that will preoccupy me to forget the feelings that will go nowhere. But it just took me a little time to prove that what I thought I've already forgotten is just here hiding deep inside me. It still lingers within. It's confusing, really.

*sigh*

So stupid and careless. 

"I just need a little of your time

A little of your time

To say the words I never said..."

- Maroon 5, A Little Of Your Time

There are things that I just can't understand, things that I can't explain. I just feel them and let them stay.

There are things that I just do without even thinking. Actually, I still got a bit surprised when I found myself off to somewhere when in fact, I had to prepare and rest for my exam tomorrow. Funny. Yet I know deep inside that even if I stayed for a while to think and decide if I will go or not, I will still choose to go. Funny yet stupid but that's just the way it is. I go for the things that make me happy even if it's just for a moment.

Friends go but memories stay forever. And those I will cherish the most. 

I was once taught that the heart is the most deceitful of all things and nobody understands it. But most of the time, it is also through the heart that we become sure of what we feel. 

Maybe even if I try hard to deny, that certain person will always be special to me. 

I just need a little of our time to prove it.