"Our life is an ocean. In a simple glimpse, it seems to be shallow, senseless, and monotonous, but in the depth thereof is an astonishing spectacle, an overwhelming creation only seen by those who believe and especially by those who risk to swim under that remarkably profound ocean." - 09/11/09 Elein
"We are commonly scared of losing someone but what is better, losing someone or losing yourself for someone?"
I already lost you and at the same time, I also lost myself. Nothing was better though. But fortunately, now I am recovering from you. I'm starting to fall out of your love but I just can't give it up. I can't waste someone I've fought for, someone who have made me complete on the inside and out, and someone whom I've loved truly and wholly. Yet, you gave me the reason to think how weak I am, how worthless I am, and how despicable I am. I was afraid until now to accept that no one loves me the way I love you. It's so paining. My heart's bleeding. My eyes are stinging. Did I do something wrong to deserve this? I'm just longing for a love who can give more than I can but no one could. No one would. Even you. Even me. I hate myself because of you. You trapped me. But do you now what hurts me the most?
August 29, 2010 Feast of Harvest Christian Ministry Preaching of Pastor Archie Resos
Isaiah 65:24 - "Before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear."
1. God will help us in times of needs. Hebrews 4:16
2. God will grant us whatever we ask for in prayer. Mark 11:24, James 4:3
3. God will give our innermost desires. John 15:7, Isaiah 59:2
4. God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
5. God can do immeasurable things more than all we can ask or imagine of. Ephesians 3:20-21
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Lord, thank you for this opportunity to ask You for anything we want, anything that is according to Your will. May we have the wisdom and courage to do what is true, noble and good to obstruct those sins from halting the blessings in line for us. I pray always that You grant my very wish. I don't need to say it here because I surely believe that You know whatever is that I'm praying for. Amen.
I love sleeping because I like dreaming. When I dream, it is like I’m in another world where I could think and do anything I want without hearing the petty remarks of others. When I was a child, I constantly dreamt about a monster who was chasing me then the only way to escape it was to run and to fly but it was so embarrassing and frightening at the same time when I couldn’t actually run properly. It was as if my shoes were so much heavy that I can’t lift them up so I frequently had to wake up before the monster got the chance to grasp me. I couldn’t control my dreams during that time but now, I definitely could. I don’t know why and how but I just noticed that it was like I already have the power to control myself during my dream. I could also manipulate them sometimes. I could choose the place, the persons to be involved and even the story itself. What I want to happen in reality could instantly come true in my dreams. It is so cool yet it feels real. Every so often, I thought it would be so much better to be in my dreams than to be here in the actual world where affliction and failure exist.
Nightmares. Religious people say that nightmares occur when you didn’t pray at night. Doctors say that there could be something wrong in the pancreas during sleep and that it could happen when the person had slept after too much eating. On the contrary, my grandmother says that it could occur if you have a hungry stomach. According to her theory, during sleep your soul will wander in the kitchen and then you’ll end up being trapped inside a casserole from eating the food inside it so since then, I have been afraid to eat with a famished stomach. Who would want to die inside a casserole anyway? There’s no harm in believing. Moreover, I learned in a film that nightmares transpire during REM sleep when our muscles are so relaxed that we’re almost paralyzed. However, it was confusing for me to understand the results in an experiment wherein those people who undergone REM sleep had written negative responses compared to those who went through non-REM sleep who had positive responses. It was also said that sophisticated dreams occur during REM sleep where we could remember them clearly after sleep. So, because during that stage the Amygdala is so active where unpleasant emotions are expressed often times, does that mean that negative dreams occur only during REM sleep and that positive dreams happen only during non-REM sleep like what the experiment had shown? Are good and bad dreams limited according to the stage we’re going through during sleep? If it is, then most of my dreams about someone I love dearly were just nightmares because they were so detailed and I could remember them after sleep which meant that they happened during REM sleep.
Anyway, according to a dream scientist, dreams don’t necessarily have certain meaning and interpretation because they are relative to different customs which may vary through time depending on the culture where the dreamer belongs. Conversely, I remembered a story in the Bible about Joseph who was used by God to interpret dreams and his interpretations were actually true. Dreams were God’s way to speak to people during those times so in my opinion as a Christian, maybe there are still some specific dreams which God uses to show and say something to us. Maybe, just maybe, they are one of His creative ways to talk with us and to manifest His power to us.
In my conclusion, I believe that there’s nothing wrong in giving interpretations and meanings to our dreams. Most of the time, they bring cheerfulness to our glum faces. They give us hope to pursue something we are dreaming of. They act as a warning to stop us from doing bad things. They are fantasies worth imagining. Yet, just be careful because the worst thing is that generally they turn into traitors. Dreams are magical but we can never deny the fact that magic is just an illusion, a deceptive scheme to make us believe in something that will never come true in reality, and the nightmare that steals our breath in every second while gasping for air from the luscious moments that will soon turn out to be infeasible.
Do you know how hard it is to know that you're not okay and I can't do anything about it?
It's like being with you everyday without you noticing me yet I can't stop loving you because from only you I could get the sweetest smile to remember in times of loneliness and despair.
To love him with all of my heart is one thing I can't really do.
I thought I was the one who had given him the chance but maybe I wasn't. Thanks to him. He gave me the chance to realize again how immature I am to handle a relationship and how God loves me so much to let my mistakes teach me to grow and to understand this so-called "wonderful" life.
And to Him I dedicate my all time favorite song,
"There I was, an empty piece of a shell, just minding my own world without even knowing what love and life were all about. Then You came, You brought me out of the shell. You gave the world to me and before I knew, there I was so in love with You.
Lord, You gave me the reason for my being and I love what I'm feeling. You gave me a meaning to my life and I've gone beyond existing. And it all began, when I met You.
You taught me how to love. You showed me how tomorrow and today my love is different from that yesterday. I knew you taught me to love. And Jesus I will always cherish You today, tomorrow and forever."
Lord, teach me how to love You because You are the only One who deserves my life. You've given everything to me. Would You mind if I give them all back? Would You give me the chance to do so? Yes. That's the main reason why my heart is beating - to serve You with all of my heart. ALL of my heart.
HAHA. Actually, I already forgot this poem I wrote during 4th yr. high school when I was alone in my office inside the Learning Center. Thanks Multiply. You saved it.
This poem was written by a lonesome girl who once dreamt to be a guy but now, no thanks. It has been shown to her how wonderful it is to be a girl. A girl who has been loved by Him no matter who she is. A girl who has been blessed with a life full of love and caring people around. And a girl who has been taught how to forgive people who brought so much pain in her life. Thank you Lord for loving her that much.
The Beginning of The End
I'm sorry because I love you
I'm sorry because I care
I'm sorry because I like you
But now, I don't even dare
My love for you just faded away
'Coz all you've given me is dismay
And now, I hate to be hurt again
Memories w/ you will be forgotten
Many times I've really tried
To forget you but I still cried
My mind wants to hate you
But my heart says I love you
Confusing as it may be
To love someone like me
Who wears make-up as I do
But my life once swirled on you
Thank you for being a part
Of my vulnerable heart
I hope you actually feel
My love for you has been real
I thought it will be painful before
To leave you, I just can't let go
But now, I love you no more
'Coz apathy is all what you show
And this time I'll promise you
Anymore, I'll never love you
Neither will be concerned nor will care
'Coz I know you'll be happy there
