March 19, 2013
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Hiding under the rain
Looking up above
The clouds hid the sun
I long for its warmth 
like how I long for you
But just like this song
Just like the rain
I can't stop singing
Singing for you
Pouring out my feelings ignored
Telling you how much I can't stand
The way you look at her
The way you smile
My heart cries
But I will not stop
Until you hear my voice
It's never too late
Or never a waste
To wait for us 
Being together
And to dream a dream 
That's always been you...

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Last night I just did something that I regret. I ignored something, believing that it may just hurt me or evoke unnecessary feelings last night that I totally didn't need since I was busy and annoyed doing my report for today which fortunately, was moved next week because my group-mate said that ma'am announced just today that she will be attending a meeting during our class hours. I'm so happy! Haha. Going back, so there, I kept myself from listening, afraid that I will get hurt in the end, but when the moment came that I was ready to hear whatever it was, I was surprised to see that it was already gone and I lost the chance to listen to whatever it might convey.

It did bother me. If only I can turn back time, I will definitely face my fear of getting hurt in the process of listening rather confusing the situation more with these hanging questions Most of us choose not to listen to avoid getting hurt, ayt? But I just realized now that it is more important to know what the other might say than to close my ears and go away. We all have reasons why we do something so maybe, just maybe, she has reasons that I can't understand for now. All I have to do is to wait, focus on the things that I should do and pray. 

"Do nothing out of selfish ambitions or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." - Phil. 2:3-4

People come into our lives for a reason. You just can't push them away when they hurt you. 

Silence is the best way to keep emotions from boiling up. You don't want to push away someone you held on to for so long. 

But let's admit it: It's easier to get mad and walk away than to keep calm and stay. 

It's easier to hate someone and save yourself from all the hurt but when you remember the days you spent just to build whatever you guys have, you realize they're still worth it. Hey, you've gone too far. Would you waste everything you did to win someone and just lose him/her just because of your temporary emotions?

It's annoying. Really, I get that. You feel it's not worth keeping anymore. You feel bad. You're not happy. But why realize it just now? Is it too late or not yet too late to go away?

You can't decide. You weigh things up. It's hard to say everything you feel, much more when even you can't find the exact words to describe them and much much more when you lack the opportunity to say them. And the hardest? When he/she doesn't even bother to listen.

For now, just remain silent. Refrain from saying hurtful and offensive words. Don't turn a hair. Remember, you chose this. Only you can save yourself from this situation. Of course, God will. What I meant is you only have the choice and to act on it.