My Christmas Wishes

Super random Christmas wishes. Whatever I like that comes to my mind ;)

First of all, I thank God because he already gave me this precious Christmas gift I never expected and thought of. Honestly, I can't think of anything to wish for at this moment because I'm already contented with what He has done for that special person and for me as well. See, the moment I think He's doing nothing turned out to be the moment He's doing the most. I'm finally free of this feelings I had for several months. It was a struggle yet He didn't allow me to end this year still stuck on it. 

So, what more could I possibly ask and wish for this Christmas? Hmm. Let's see.

1. I want to maintain my figure. Haha. Because I have a grad pic next year! I'm worried. I feel so bloated! My cheeks are getting fatter! I'm not sure if they really are getting fatter or I'm just getting too paranoid. Ugh.  Say no to my cravings!!! Which is, as of this moment, RAMEN. I satisfied my cravings last night and they were chocolates :|

2. I want new shoes. Like, shoes that I could wear in school everyday. Sneakers. That's probably the best shoes I want to receive. I have barely used high-heels in my closet but I don't wear them in school. Please. 

3. Swimwear. A sexy one. Haha. Kidding. What's the use of my work-out anyway? LOLS. Seriously, I want to swim this Christmas. The weather is so hot! It's unusual.

4. Dress. Lots of dresses and girly clothes. Whatever you call them. Hihi. I wish to become more girly next year and change my style Though I can't imagine myself wearing a dress during normal days in school. *sigh* Let's see then.

5. I already received this necklace and key pendant that I want from Silverworks. Well, because that was what I wished for in our exchange gift in CIRCA Christmas party. What else do I want? I love accessories. But I'm contented now :)

6. Money. Haha. So that I'll be able to give presents to my loved ones too. I can't wait to graduate and earn moneeeyyy!! :D

7. Love. Peace. Joy. Salvation. For everyone. I pray that people would come to realize that the true essence of Christmas is about the love of Christ. It's not about material things though they're part of it, let us not dwell on these temporal things alone. Give love on Christmas day! <3

Yesterday in SM Marikina I heard a woman in her 30's, I think, ranting about how her make-up is better than her friend's. I just laughed as she talked about brands like Mac and ahmm, I don't actually know those brands. Haha. Seriously? Friends talk behind each other's backs just about make-up brands?

How I wish I won't end up talking like that about my friends when I grew older. There are other important things to think about and share. And seriously, hello, whatever make-up brand you use won't make you prettier or less. 

If you're truly beautiful, then you are beautiful despite what brand of make-up you use or even if without any. Also, true beauty comes from within and it depends on how you appreciate a  person as well. 

Speaking of defining beauty, everyone has his/her own definition of beauty. What's beautiful for me may not be beautiful to another. There's no point in comparing who's beautiful or not because yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So what's my point of telling this? Well, maybe, just maybe I'm not beautiful to him. He has his own standards. To him, I'm not the same person that other's see. To him, I'm not as beautiful as what others say about me and it sucks...

Ohwell. 

How could you still love someone you never had? How could I?

Maybe there will always be a part of me that will long for you. Or maybe not. 

There was a time when I lost myself in a relationship but time passed by and I became a different person. Experiences change me and I just can't go back to where I came from because I don't recognize myself back then anymore. It wasn't me. I can't believe I did that. I was so immature, stupid, and so impulsive.

Things are different now yet I'm still capable of loving selflessly. 

It feels good to love... even in secret.

But maybe I'm in love no more. Maybe I'm just missing the feeling.

Well, I think the last two sentences seem more legit.

Every time I see less fortunate people, I close my eyes and pray to God to bless them and me as well to be able to share the blessings and love of Christ which is the true essence of Christmas.

I talked with this special someone a while ago. I'm so happy. No words can describe how joyful I am. Thank you, Lord. I hope this is a good sign for me to start a new life again. I really didn't expect this. I finally got over it.

So blessed. So happy. So loved <3

This is the perfect time that I can finally say that I have fallen out of love. Yes! It feels so real! Actually, I feel nothing. It's like normal, just ordinary. It wasn't the same as before when you know, there were butterflies in my stomach and all the nervous and giddy feelings. But now, there's nothing. 

I tried to remember my feelings for you but they were all gone. I'm so happy for myself. Yet I miss the feeling of having someone to make me smile. But I have to admit that a one-sided love is too exhausting. Thus the phrase 'having someone to make me smile' is not appropriate because first of all, I never had you. I never will.

And I care no more. 

I refuse to hear your voice as long as I can
Afraid that I would fall for you again

Yesterday I longed to see your smile
The memories we had I cherished for a while

Maybe today I am missing you so much
I wish tomorrow I could feel your touch
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Err.. I'm trying to compose a song but I'm not inspired enough. And this poem sucks. What's happening to me :/

Maybe the feelings are starting to fade away...

This is the time when I doubt my feelings for you. I just can't understand it really. Feelings change, I know. But it won't if it's true. I don't know. It's really confusing.

They say you can't love two persons at once. But you can like many people.

Wala lang. Senti lang hahahaha. Naguguluhan lang ako. Labo eh. LOL.

One thing I'm sure of, I loved you more. But if you make me choose now, I... I don't know. It would take me minutes to decide and ponder. Arti lungs :P

Anyway, I had a very happy day today :)))))

Even though we didn't win, it's worth the fight. 

I love you NCPAG Singing Administrators! Huhu. Last competition ko na ito. 

"Never assume unless otherwise stated."

I can't understand men. That's all.