My Quotable Quotes

Originally mine. From may facebook statuses :)

Copyright 2012

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Pretending that there's nothing wrong won't make anything right. Silence won't make it any better.

Insecurities won't make you beautiful.

Fall in love with the person and not with gender.

You don't have to change yourself to look pretty for someone because there's someone out there who sees you as a perfectly beautiful girl one would ever dream of.

Sometimes I wonder how you can sacrifice everything for someone who can't even do the same, how you can give yourself to someone even though you know he's just using you for his own pleasure or benefit, how you can be so stupid to care for him knowing that he's completely fine without you... I wonder how... How you can be so madly in love with the same person for the second time? With the person who's in love with someone else. With the person who never loved you at all. Some say life is unfair. But I tell you life is fair. You cried because I dumped you. Don't fret. I never had him too.

That's why I don't play with love because no one would believe you once you did. You cheat once and you lose him/her forever. So never play with anybody. Once you say it, make sure you mean it.

If you have nothing good to say, then just shut your mouth. Pessimists hinder improvement. Insecurities won't make you any better.

Do not let a guy ruin your friendship. It's not worth it. 

You wouldn't see unless you open your eyes. You wouldn't believe unless you have faith. And you wouldn't feel His love unless you let Him.

Some people utter words they mean only for a moment. If that's the case, then just shut up.

It feels so good to know that someone cares enough. Even though I barely notice him.

Minsan hindi mo mapapansing masakit na pala, pero go lang kasi mahal mo siya kahit hindi mo alam kung ano ka ba talaga para sknya.

Bakit sobrang init? Eh wala naman siya dito. 

From the moment i saw your face, you've been someone I can't replace.

I convince myself not to fall but baby, you're irresistible.

Blinded by darkness, I am so nothing. Tonight I can feel His love and I'm starting to realize again how my heart has been hardened.

That's why I don't easily trust men... Because most of them say things they can't prove. I'm not disappointed. I'm pleased because I'm right. Once again.

Ang hirap talagang magpigil pag masarap.

You quit when you finally realize it's not worth it.

Bakit ako nasasaktan e wala naman akong karapatan?

Don't act like you're jealous if in the first place you never even tried to keep me.

Despite the hatred and anger, you still care... Because you love.

A heart that hates is a heart that's hurt. 

Don't flatter me with your tongue. Impress me with your voice.

Suppress the feeling 'coz it ain't worth it or maybe because this isn't the right time to express what I really feel. They have no idea. Yeah. That's why they assume. And the worst part is you don't even know that you're the reason behind my smile. If only they knew... But what's the point? you wouldn't mind anyway.

It's just that I dont want to fall for someone who will be taken away from me again. Soon.

Maybe I don't really want to know that after all, you still play my song.
That after all, you still hit the right note.
That after all, you're still the beat of this stupid heart.
Maybe I'm not stupid after all. I just love you. Is that stupidity?
Or maybe I just don't wanna get hurt... Again. By you.

I went to your class. I kept on asking the guy who was sitting outside the room if the students were already dismissed. He said 'not yet'. I waited for you in the lobby until the time you were supposed to leave. I got impatient and checked your room again. I was taken aback to see that you were already gone without me noticing. I wasn't sure if I felt bad because of wasting my time waiting for no one or because of never telling you that I was just there, waiting for you.

You weren't the person I fell in love with but the feelings you evoked were the same as if I was falling for the same person all over again.

I don't want you to be mine. I just want you to be with me. You and me together. Not forever. Coz time stops when Im with you ♥

You just imprinted on me. I guess you made the wrong move.

It amazes me how I can love and fear your eyes simultaneously.

I'm not loyal. I just know who I love.

I don't want to fall for you again. I don't want to cry because of you for the second time. But what can I do? It's you that I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's always been you.

You will never be enough for someone who doesn't know your worth.

I may not be rich to give you what she can offer but I'm giving you my music. You are my music, and music is my life.

I lost but at least for once I could say that I fought for something and even if I lose over and over again, it doesn't matter. What's there to lose anyway? I'm left empty handed.

you live because of Him who gave you life and the air to breathe. you live not just to exist but to do something that is worth remembering. don't dwell on the past. a good future is waiting for you and it is your choice if you're going to let it happen. life does not end when you lose something so much important. it hurts but it will make you stronger than ever to face every pain that comes your way. live not for yourself! live to glorify His name!

God's love is never taught. It is felt by those who open their eyes and heart to something that is led by faith.

i fell so madly in love with this vampire so eventually, i died... but i lived again.

ouch. nsugatan pla ako. nde ko naramdaman. na-realize ko lng nung ngdugo na </3

crying is not a sign of weakness. it's a sign that im strong enough to face my weakness and to accept that i cant do it alone without Him.

Do everything out of love without reservation.

He may not be the perfect guy but he's more than enough for me.

When you're tempted to do something, don't move away from God. move closer to Him instead.

I look at you and my heart skips a beat. oh my. baby, you're the cause of my heart disease.

If crying is a disease, then Im dead now. 

I cry not because I'm hurt. I cry because I don't want you to be hurt.

Be careful with what you post because a simple status may change someone's mind.

I was watching Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets when I randomly checked the time on my netbook. It was 11:11 pm. I remembered my friend told me to wish for something at exactly 11:11 o'clock. I asked her how does it work and she said, 'just wish, just for fun, you know.' Of course I don't believe that wishes can happen by just wishing at 11:11 o'clock but it won't do any harm to try it. So at exactly 11:11 pm, I abruptly closed my eyes to make a wish and when I did, all I can ever think of was you. Then I told myself I can't wish for something impossible but I can't think of anything else to wish for at that moment. When I opened my eyes, it was 11:12 already. I lost the chance to wish for something possible. Well, because all I ever wanted is you, to be with you, something that can't happen... Ever. And it does me no good to dwell on it.

I'm not loveless. I'm actually full of love... Not until you drained it away.

I'm just actually playing with words. Nothing serious about my quote above. Haha. Though it made me think. To love is a marvelous thing and not to be loved back makes your love grow stronger in hoping that you will and can be loved back by the person you love. That's being hopeful. Naah. That's being stupid. Especially when you know that whatever you do, he/she can't/won't feel the same way. So why do you continue loving him/her? Well, it's because you love him/her no matter what. You love him/her for who he/she is and not for what he/she can offer/give you because love is all about giving and not getting. Love can not be drained but it can get hurt. Yet after all the hurt, you don't give up. You still love. Because you know what, the best part of it is having the opportunity to see him/her smile with all the things that you do for him/her because he/she knows that you'll always be there. As his/her friend. A good friend. A hopeless friend. A heartbroken friend.

Suppressed desires are manifested in dreams.
At least I had you for a moment... in my dream.

I had you...

And it was... phenomenal.

I even doubted that dream.

Because I never thought it would be possible for you to look into my eyes like how I looked into yours.  

When I woke up, I reminded myself that it was just a dream.

A hopeless dream.

An impossible dream.

 

You quit when you finally realize it's not worth it.

I'm hurt and disappointed. I want to get mad but I can't.

Because it's not worth it. 

I did things to calm myself and they're not worth it.

What the hell is wrong with me? 

I can't afford to lose you.

Even though I'm deeply wounded and taken for granted,

I still treasure you with the little things I have.

Because believe it or not, I gave you everything I could.

You can never please someone who doesn't appreciate you.

Even if you give your all, it would be nothing to him.

So just runaway and save yourself from more hurt.

I have these quotes in mind. Advices that I could tell to someone in need.

But it's so hard to apply them to myself.

Indeed, I just can't runaway... But I want to.

I really do.

I'm just not yet ready to lose you...

But you're not worth it.

They told me so.

It is Only Just a Dream

October 10, 2012

for creative writing purposes

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I never expected the surprise visit of my college friends today. I wasn't prepared especially when I saw him with them. Him? Oh no?! Oh yes! Ha! I didn't see him for months and I missed him so much. I was kinda hoping to spend time with him today. My brother's room was the only room clean enough for them to stay. Our furniture were scattered all around the sala because it was getting some remodeling and fixing. So now they were already having fun inside my brother's room. It was just weird because I wasn't really close with them. I mean, where were my batchmates? They were 1 year ahead of me. Anyway, when you are in a dream, you can't control who you meet, where you meet and why you meet them. Yes, apparently, I was in a dream.

They had fun without me. They were all chatting inside the room without even calling for my presence. What the?! I can't understand why were they even here. A friend inside the room sent me a text message saying that they were talking about something confidential and I should not hear it. This was insane. I played the piano instead but I can't play properly as I saw him with them having fun. I was glad at least he was here. I kept on playing the piano and after several unfinished pieces, they closed the door. Wow. So what now? I waited for them. I stayed in my room until the sky got dark. At last, they opened the door and let me come inside. We chatted for a while and not more than an hour later, they were prepared to go. They all left except him who was still in the room.

"Hey, aren't you going home with them?" Confused and giddy at the same time, I asked.

"Ahmm, I need to talk to you." He said poker-faced while changing his clothes. Why the hell was he changing his clothes? And now he was wearing a see-through shirt. What was his problem?

"Okay then. What about?" I walked to my room and was more surprised to see him following me. I opened my cabinet randomly just to distract myself. I was in love with him and I was still in love with him until this moment. He sat on my bed, his face still straight.

"You should stop it." He started.

"Stop what?" So now I was more confused.

"Stop liking me. Stop loving me. Whatever it is that you feel towards me." He was serious. His words slapped me on my face. I knew he can't reciprocate my feelings but I didn't care. I wasn't asking for anything and besides, even though I loved him, he was still my friend. I had come to accept that so now I can't understand why he was telling me this. No words came out of my mouth. I was thinking of telling him about him, my current boyfriend, but what will I say? Hey I have a boyfriend and you don't have to worry about my feelings for you. I have it in control and I'm moving on. Naaah. So lame. Telling him about him will just show how desperate I was to divert this feelings that was obviously for him only. Keeping my mouth shut will be the best decision for now. I wasn't yet over him. So without hesitation, I went outside with him following me and after minutes that seemed like forever for me to absorb, he bid me goodbye with his see-through shirt. I had no idea where he got that and why he was wearing that. WTF.

So this was what I was pondering about. He asked me to stop loving him. That wasn't his exact words but that was the implication. 

"Ihinto mo na yang nararamdaman mo sa akin."

He was my friend but I can't deny that I was still madly in love. Maybe he was saying that I can't be JUST friends with him when I still have this feelings. But no, I can't lose him. Not now. Not ever.

I don't usually wake up early in normal days. I didn't have class today but I woke up at 7:30 am to meet my friend and give her their tickets. I didn't wash my hair because I was cold. I'm still sick. I wore my new pink and gray jacket and off I went to Philcoa. In Mcdonald's, I met her and her cousin. Good thing she liked the tickets. She can't NOT like it. I slept late to print and cut the 500 tickets though she didn't ask me to cut them. I just did because I started it already. I didn't want to give it to her unfinished. My right thumb is numb until now because of the hours I spent cutting them last night. I completely underestimated the 500 tickets yet I enjoyed cutting. haha.

I ate my lunch the moment I got home and I went to my uncle's house to get his test papers. I will check them as I used a lot of his ink last night to print the tickets because my printer is not yet fixed. After lunch, I felt sleepy so I dozed off for a while. I planned to get up by 3 pm but as usual, I kept on pressing the snooze button of my alarm so I woke up at 4:30 pm instead. I should be reading for my exam on Friday or checking my uncle's test papers but I can't move on from my dream. So here I am, blogging my activities for today and pondering what the dream means.

I'm just so hot today. Feverishly hot I mean. I feel so dizzy with this non-stop runny nose. I tried to do my paper but unfortunately, my mind wasn't working. I slept in the afternoon instead and woke up with my clothes drenched in sweat. I didn't get any better but at least I had more strength to think and do my paper. Still, I wasn't in the mood to write anything academic. I minded my friend's ticket instead and looked for photoshop geeks who can help me edit the lame ticket. HAHA. Then after several hours of waiting while drafting my paper, BOOM! We have a totally overhauled ticket that's far far better than the original. Yey!

Nothing special happened today but I'm happy.

I'm happy because I helped this special friend.

Tomorrow's another day of UP Hellweek.

I can do this! I'll get better tomorrow.

I can't afford to be sick. Not with 2 exams and papers ahead of me. 

I make mistakes. Always. I can't stop it. It's too enticing. Adventure and curiosity are the things that make my life challenging yet miserable at the same time because at the end of the day, I'm not happy with what I've done. Maybe happy but not genuinely happy. It doesn't last. I try new things just to experience them without thinking of the consequences or the cost I might pay. So here I am, full of guilt and regrets. I can't move on. I'm stuck. Yet again, everyday is a new beginning. It's never too late to come back to where I belong.

I have friends. I have a lot of them. But I just need one to understand and help me guide my way back. I need her, my friend whom I ignore sometimes because I thought she's too good compared to me and she's not the kind of friend that I want to be with but I was wrong. She never leaves. She's just around when I need her. She's a blessing to me and I proved it again when one Sunday I can't take what's bothering me any longer and she's the first one who came into my mind. I didn't tell her what my problem is but she knows. She knows...

I was wrong again when I told myself that I will change and prove to them that I can do it without their help. 

I fall. I fall again. I fall again and again.

I can't do it all alone.

But I don't want to be a burden to her, to them.

I'm such a weakling.

Yes definitely, I would do anything for you.

You're making me change my mind.

I need time to think and decide.

And you're a big part of it.

I just don't wanna lose what we have.

We're friends. I treasure it.

But I'm not yet over you.

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I never knew I was in love with you until you left and were so far far away from me. 

I didn't know why and how. All I know is that you make me feel something I can't feel from others. 

I do things I don't normally do for others and I do them without asking anything in return. Well, I want to be with you. I want you but I can't have you. Still, I am here for you.

Whatever I say, you will never understand my feelings but don't worry I'm moving on.

Yet I still love you...

I'm grateful that we're friends.

Time will come when these feelings will disappear like shadows in the dark.

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