The Shadow Silhouette (ID)

Drowning myself in solitary, I sat on the farthest chair on the last row. I opened my notebook and reviewed the lessons for the class later. It was freezing cold. The air-conditioner clamored blatantly while exhaling a chilly sensation that traveled up my spine. I couldn’t read properly. The lights flickered off and on, joining the noise of the aircon as if they were emceeing an obstreperous discotheque. I couldn’t fix my attention on the notes so I turned on my cell phone and played a song. Looking at the ceiling, my eyes hurt. I hated it! I stood up and switched off the stupid lights and then it was dark. The only faint light lingering in the room was from the window covered with cream-colored Venetian blinds. Sluggishly, I trod back to my chair. I was falling into the brink of unconsciousness when someone had tapped me on my right shoulder. Surprisingly, there was no someone except for a lizard crawling limp on the floor. What the hell had happened? A lizard fell from the wall? Weird.

As my eyes followed the flaccid lizard crawl back on the wall, I didn’t notice the guy standing beside me. I was taken aback but there was one insistent dimple to the right of his smile which made me lean against the wall. Weakness began in my ankles, crawling towards my heart. My heart?! Psshh.. I wasn’t one of those corny people who believe in love at first sight. I knew this wasn’t love. It was just his eyes, so deep that it was startling. I could slip by looking into those eyes.

“Hey, are you okay?” he broke the deafening silence. His eyes were wide yet full of salaciousness.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I was just surprised. I didn’t notice you entering the room.” I looked away from his face.

“Actually, I knocked but apparently, you didn’t hear. Is there a problem? You have been standing there for minutes. What are you looking at?” and now he was trying to start a conversation. OMG.

“Ahmm.. Nothing. I just woke up.” I smiled timidly, “maybe I should go now. I have a class.” the glow of his face faded away as I turned back, got my things and left the room. Ugghh.. Epic fail.

A desperate afterthought, I dropped my ID. Damn. Loser.

The Mouse

I opened my laptop to check my mails. I was pissed off. My mouse wasn’t working! I couldn’t move the cursor. Because I hadn’t had enough patience left on me, I threw the mouse as far as it could go. Craaaack! It fell at the corner of the wall beside the door and guess what, it didn’t crack into pieces! I picked it up and saw that it was still in its usual shape. Then I tried to plug it in the USB port. Shocked yet happy, the mouse worked! Oh yeah! XD

Well, maybe sometimes I need to hurt something or someone for it/him/her to work properly AGAIN. LOL. XP

The Shadow Silhouette (Intro)

I was lying on the edge of my bed. I stared at my window as I waited for the sun to dawn. I felt the coolness of the morning breeze. I pulled my blanket and wrapped it around my warm body. Suddenly from the glass window, a strange shadow strikingly silhouetted against the setting sun. My heart jumped as if someone has stabbed me from my back. I forgot that you waited for me outside since yesterday until today. I didn't dare to get out. I hadn't had enough courage to speak. I got up from bed and ignored your presence.

Someone told me that I’m her very special friend then I asked her how she defines me as special? This is her reply:

As special as the picturesque rainbow in the modest sky,

As majestic as white light sparks into multi-colored ray,

As special as the splendid setting sun in Manila bay,

Shimmering beauty over the gently waving sea…

— Nov. 22, 2010 8:00 pm

BFF, Ensaymada and Ice Scramble

At 5 o’clock in the morning, my alarm went wild. Shoot! I don’t wanna attend the ROTC class. I turned the alarm off and went back to sleep.

I heard a familiar voice from outside my room and I knew that it was already lunch time. Footsteps approached my room and before my brother woke me up, I stood and stretched my arms as high as I could reach. My whole body was limp so I hadn’t expected this Saturday to be like some days when I feel that certain excitement in anticipating some cozy activity. Anyway, I strode to the dining table and ate lunch with my grandma, mom, and brother. After having a delicious lunch specially cooked and prepared by my grandma (specially because she seldom cooks our food during weekdays and Saturdays, only if Sunday), I went back to my room to finish the book I bought yesterday, “Kissing Kate” by Lauren Myracle. Actually, I didn’t plan on buying a book for it was out of budget but still I visited the bookstore in AS. It’s my pastime when I’m alone and not in the mood to hang out with somebody - to go to bookstores and to flip the pages of every book I see as interesting. By 4 pm, I finished the book. It is about Lissa and Kate who are best friends when one night, they did something which changed their relationship as friends. Lissa tried to convince Kate to talk out whatever they felt during that night and the confusion that lingered and bothered her but Kate resisted the idea and pretended nothing happened. In the end, Lissa met a new friend who made her realize to come back to her own self. On the other hand, I was not pleased with the ending because it didn’t tell me how Lissa and Kate settled their situation.

Having read a book about best friends, I called my best friend, Leah, to go to our house. I was alone anyway. But before that, I did some stretching, push ups and sit ups first. Then suddenly a voice called me from outside and apparently, I knew she had come.

“Why do you want me to stay in?”, she asked me smiling.

“I’m alone and I’m bored. Why did you come without texting me? I was waiting for your response. I’m supposed to take a bath first. Anyway, come in.”

Inside the house,

“Do you want to clean?”, she looked around.

“What?”, I was suprised and puzzled at the same time.

“I mean, look at that dead cockroach at the corner. Is that your new decoration?”, she replied abruptly.

“Fine. I don’t have time to clean and my grandma either. You know, we don’t care about it. We’re used to them.” I got my towel and prepared to take a bath.

“Would you mind if I sweep the dust off?”, she asked without any hint of sarcasm.

I was in disbelief but still I smiled. “Sure, no problem. It’s your choice.” Then I took a bath.

As I expected, father came home early. I stopped Leah from sweeping our floor because dad definitely will get mad at me. We went inside my room and had chitchats as usual. It always feels good to have somebody to talk with when you’re alone and I’m so grateful to have her beside me. Then as usual, we ran out of gossips so we planned to go to the playground where we could buy green mangoes with bagoong which I was craving for and off we went.

We strolled along every bazaar. Colorful Christmas lights were blinding. People were scattered everywhere. Noise was buzzing violently on my head then someone bumped me and I felt bad.

“Where could I buy green mangoes?” By that time, my stomach was growling from hunger. I didn’t want to eat anything but green mangoes.

Finally, she dragged me to the nearest seller of green mangoes and I ate with delight.

“That was good. Hmm, is there any booth who hands henna tattoo?” I asked her again. With just 100 pesos in hand, a tattoo would be the best I could get in here.

It took us 20 minutes to finish the tattoo and the result was amazing. I’ve always wanted to get a permanent one but God forbids. And so I believe that I’m still a good girl to obey Him even if I want it badly. *grins*

Here it is:

My first henna tattoo. XD

I spent 60 pesos for this.

It was 8 o’clock in the evening and we need to go home but we were hungry so we decided to get something to eat. We walked across the street for that ‘buy one take one’ hamburger but unluckily, there were many people in line and we can’t afford to wait any longer. We ended up in front of Julie’s Bakeshop. I had special ensaymada and was dismayed because beside the store is Chooks-To-Go. Suddenly, I craved for lechon manok but what could I do, I didn’t have enough money. Lesson: Avoid the scrumptious smell of lechon manok and focus on my ensaymada.

As we walked to catch a jeepney, I was enticed by a pink ice scramble store so I stopped her to buy me one. Good Lord I have a kind best friend who would buy me anything I asked from her. HAHA!

With my best friend, ensaymada and ice scramble in hand, my Saturday had been special. Oh yeah! :)

Breath of Life

Once the heaven was in utter darkness
There was no life, the world was loveless
Then from the clouds above came our God
He created the Earth and shed His blood

Everything you see, everything you hear
Life is wonderful, there's nothing to fear
Then a monstrous creature suddenly came
To save the people had been God's aim

Eternal life has been promised to us
But everyone becomes a doubting Thomas
Love, trust and faith are lost
Still God is good, He paid such a cost

What a peaceful life it must have been
If it were not for the devil's scheme
Life is a blessing, we should know
It's also deceiving, are you friend or foe?

This is the world wherein we live
To God our Creator, we must believe
For He had saved life from death
And we are alive owing to His breath

------------------------------------------------------

It was freezing cold inside the Biology class. I embraced myself with my bare hands. While listening to her lesson about theories of life, I truly appreciate my professor, Dr. Annabelle Herrera for she is so kind and has a sense of humor. After the discussion, she asked us to write a poem about life within 20 minutes and that poem above was all I got. Luckily, I wasn't one of those who were called in front of the class to read their poems. HAHA! However, next meeting she will continue to draw lots and ask the chosen student to read the poem aloud.

Sa Umaga, Tanghali at Gabi

Sa umagang kay lamig

Iyong tinig aking naririnig

Sa pagmulat ng mga mata

Iyong maamong mukha aking nakikita

.

Sa umagang kay lamig

Nagsilbing init yaong pag-ibig

Mula pagtulog hanggang paggising

Ika'y nariyan sa aking piling

.

Sa tanghali namang napakainit

Tanging sa'yo lamang lumalapit

Kahit nung umaga ako'y lumisan

At tumatawag lang pag may kailangan

.

Ganyan ba talaga ang tulad mo?

Sinaktan na't tinaboy di pa rin susuko?

Dahil sa pag-ibig tinupad ang pangako

Pagkakamali ng lahat Iyong inako

.

Ang isang tulad ko ba'y karapat-dapat

Upang mahalin ng Diyos na tapat?

Ng Diyos na dakila't kabanal-banalan

Na may-ari ng lahat ng kapurihan

.

Sa gabing madilim ako'y nananamlay

Naubos ang lakas, tila walang buhay

Di Niya ako iniwan upang dumamay

Sa buong magdamag, Siya'y aking gabay

---------------------------------------------

Actually, this was the poem I was eagerly writing and polishing while waiting for my next class at the AS lobby third floor but apparently, that cute guy really caught my attention; therefore, I unexpectedly composed that second poem about him and forgot to finish this Filipino poem. However, when I got home, I completed it while typing this poem for God. :)

Snickers Guy

I was sitting alone at the AS lobby

Writing a poem, composing a story

Then a cute guy walked in front of me

I caught myself smiling with glee



He was eating Snickers, so delicious

Just like his body, oh so luscious!

His eyes, his lips, everything is gorgeous

I stared at him but he wasn't conscious



I watched him walk all the way

Far from me, I was in dismay

Will I ever see that guy again?

Or will I meet other cute man?

------------------------------------------

HAHA! I was waiting for my next class at the AS lobby 3rd floor then I was inspired to write a poem about that cute guy. LOL. :D

It'll Always Be You

Am I afraid to love?

Do I have nothing to give?

Is there someone from above?

Whom I could truly believe?

Why do I need to refuse

Someone who really cares

Why do I need to choose

Someone who is not there

Some people settle for less

Some people ask for more

But all I want is your caress

And to hear you knock on my door

Every time I'm with a guy

I always wish he is you

But all I do is to cry

And you never had a clue

I'm never afraid to love

And I believe my God above

Even if He didn't give you to me

I'm still here waiting patiently

And if that time never came

My heart will be broken

Still I'll be shouting your name

And my love for you shall remain

- eLein

----------------------------------------------

Just one chance... :)

Be my Valentine Rose

Red roses were her favorites. Her name was also Rose.
Every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, “Be my Valentine,” like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
“I love you even more this year, than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow, with every passing year.”
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She cut the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, placed the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband’s favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and looking at the roses there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before.
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

“I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,”
The owner said, “I knew you would call, and you would want to know.
“The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance.”

“There is a standing order, which I have on file down here,
and he has paid, well in advance, you will get the roses every year.
There also is another thing, which I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card…he did this many years ago.

Then, should ever, I find out that he is no longer here,
That is the card…that should be sent, to you the following year.”
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears was now flowing hard.
Her fingers were shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote…
“Hello my love, I know it is been a year since I have been gone,
I hope it has not been too hard for you to overcome.

I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words could say, you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it is only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
that we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
However, my love, you must go on, you have some living still.

Please… try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
when your door is not answered, when the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
to take the roses to the place, where I have instructed him,
and place the roses where we are, together once again.”

by Line Kjergaard

———————————————————-

Oh, I so love this poem. :’)

Sa AS Lobby

Ako'y nakaupong nag-iisa

Nagmumuni-muni, nakatulala

Pinagmamasdan ang bawat dumaraan

Mataba, payat at hindi kagandahan

At doon sa tabi'y may naghahalakhakan

Ako'y nagising mula sa pagkaidlip

Bakit ba madalas akong naiinip?

Ikaw lang naman ang aking hinihintay

Siguro nga talagang limot mo na

Pero eto ako, tangang naghihintay pa

Isa lang naman ang tangi kong hiling

Kahit saglit, ika'y makapiling

Pero bakit mo ba ipinagkakait?

Isang yakap lang, matamis mong halik

At magpawalang hanggan mong pag-ibig

- Micah Elein C. Resos

---------------------

I wrote this poem on October 8, 2010 at AS lobby during lunch break.

This was what boredom can do. O.o

Hell

I heard a saying that true friends understand you, that they will always be there for you no matter what but now I just noticed that is not definitely true. How can my true friends understand me if I can’t understand even my own self?

HOPE.. They say that this world is full of hope. Well, when it comes to hoping I can hope forever but the question is, until when will I hope? until there’s no life left in me? until I realized that everything I hoped for is a LIE?!

Do I need a reason to feel alone, sad, and weak? Aren’t they enough to explain why I feel this way? Why I feel worthless and miserable? Do I need to have a CERTAIN reason?! Do I?!

Sometimes, even if the answer is already in front of your face waiting to be noticed, there will be a time that you’ll feel that uncertainty. The doubt that you never think you’ll ever feel. Yes, I doubt myself. I doubt everyone around me. Maybe I’m right.. Somehow.. That I can’t trust anyone.. Even the closest person I have. Even me, myself..

I’m in hell.. Fire is burning inside my body and no one can see it.. Only myself and the One above.. But what hurts me is that I don’t know how to seek help from Him..

Strangle me..

I don’t want to breathe..

I want to be numb..

Kill me instead..

If life-after-death is true, where will I go?

Where do I want to go?

I want to go to heaven.. Everyone does.. But how could I go there if in this world “full of hope”, EVIL reigns? That even a Christian like me is being devoured..

Where is the LOVE? I can’t feel it.. I just CAN’T.

My Aunt's Letter for Me

To my Dearest Micah!

"We chose this birthday greeting with some special thoughts in mind - First, to say we hope your day will be your favorite kind. Then, to wish you all the joy a perfect year can bring - Because you're someone who deserves the best of everything!"

Even if you are a new lady, you're still my little Micah...

Even if you will goin' to have partner in life, you're still my little Micah...

Soon, if you will marry, you're still my little Micah...

You are so special to me!

Enjoy your journey in life,
Happy happy birthday!

Love,
Tita Liza

..........................................................................

I love this letter. Thanks tita Liza. I love you so much. :)

Dear you,

Hey, it has been 5 months since I last met you. I'm supposed to miss you now. I'm supposed to think of you everyday just like what I did for the past stupid months but you know what? It's different now and I don't know why. Really. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I wrote in my last letter to you that I won't stop loving you until you love me too but I guess, this is over. I'm happy. So much happy. I am fleeing from my own sadistic chains that held my neck long enough to writhe it savagely as my blood oozes from my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my ears and as I was silently screaming from the excruciating pain of having crushed my own throat, having severed my head from my own body just because of that damn chains you brought me! Why am I suddenly feeling this animosity towards you? I hate this! I hate it when I need to hate somebody just to save myself from hating myself because of loving someone who will never love me in return!

Oh Lord, I need You.

Pain,

~darkangel~

Dear you,

"We are commonly scared of losing someone but what is better, losing someone or losing yourself for someone?"

I already lost you and at the same time, I also lost myself. Nothing was better though. But fortunately, now I am recovering from you. I'm starting to fall out of your love but I just can't give it up. I can't waste someone I've fought for, someone who have made me complete on the inside and out, and someone whom I've loved truly and wholly. Yet, you gave me the reason to think how weak I am, how worthless I am, and how despicable I am. I was afraid until now to accept that no one loves me the way I love you. It's so paining. My heart's bleeding. My eyes are stinging. Did I do something wrong to deserve this? I'm just longing for a love who can give more than I can but no one could. No one would. Even you. Even me. I hate myself because of you. You trapped me. But do you now what hurts me the most?

I just can't stop loving you. I don't want to...

until you love me too.

Forever,

~darkangel~

Keys to an Answered Prayer

August 29, 2010
Feast of Harvest Christian Ministry
Preaching of Pastor Archie Resos

Isaiah 65:24 - "Before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear."

1. God will help us in times of needs. Hebrews 4:16

2. God will grant us whatever we ask for in prayer. Mark 11:24, James 4:3

3. God will give our innermost desires. John 15:7, Isaiah 59:2

4. God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

5. God can do immeasurable things more than all we can ask or imagine of. Ephesians 3:20-21

.......................................

Lord, thank you for this opportunity to ask You for anything we want, anything that is according to Your will. May we have the wisdom and courage to do what is true, noble and good to obstruct those sins from halting the blessings in line for us. I pray always that You grant my very wish. I don't need to say it here because I surely believe that You know whatever is that I'm praying for. Amen.

Sweet Nightmares

I love sleeping because I like dreaming. When I dream, it is like I’m in another world where I could think and do anything I want without hearing the petty remarks of others. When I was a child, I constantly dreamt about a monster who was chasing me then the only way to escape it was to run and to fly but it was so embarrassing and frightening at the same time when I couldn’t actually run properly. It was as if my shoes were so much heavy that I can’t lift them up so I frequently had to wake up before the monster got the chance to grasp me. I couldn’t control my dreams during that time but now, I definitely could. I don’t know why and how but I just noticed that it was like I already have the power to control myself during my dream. I could also manipulate them sometimes. I could choose the place, the persons to be involved and even the story itself. What I want to happen in reality could instantly come true in my dreams. It is so cool yet it feels real. Every so often, I thought it would be so much better to be in my dreams than to be here in the actual world where affliction and failure exist.

Nightmares. Religious people say that nightmares occur when you didn’t pray at night. Doctors say that there could be something wrong in the pancreas during sleep and that it could happen when the person had slept after too much eating. On the contrary, my grandmother says that it could occur if you have a hungry stomach. According to her theory, during sleep your soul will wander in the kitchen and then you’ll end up being trapped inside a casserole from eating the food inside it so since then, I have been afraid to eat with a famished stomach. Who would want to die inside a casserole anyway? There’s no harm in believing. Moreover, I learned in a film that nightmares transpire during REM sleep when our muscles are so relaxed that we’re almost paralyzed. However, it was confusing for me to understand the results in an experiment wherein those people who undergone REM sleep had written negative responses compared to those who went through non-REM sleep who had positive responses. It was also said that sophisticated dreams occur during REM sleep where we could remember them clearly after sleep. So, because during that stage the Amygdala is so active where unpleasant emotions are expressed often times, does that mean that negative dreams occur only during REM sleep and that positive dreams happen only during non-REM sleep like what the experiment had shown? Are good and bad dreams limited according to the stage we’re going through during sleep? If it is, then most of my dreams about someone I love dearly were just nightmares because they were so detailed and I could remember them after sleep which meant that they happened during REM sleep.

Anyway, according to a dream scientist, dreams don’t necessarily have certain meaning and interpretation because they are relative to different customs which may vary through time depending on the culture where the dreamer belongs. Conversely, I remembered a story in the Bible about Joseph who was used by God to interpret dreams and his interpretations were actually true. Dreams were God’s way to speak to people during those times so in my opinion as a Christian, maybe there are still some specific dreams which God uses to show and say something to us. Maybe, just maybe, they are one of His creative ways to talk with us and to manifest His power to us.

In my conclusion, I believe that there’s nothing wrong in giving interpretations and meanings to our dreams. Most of the time, they bring cheerfulness to our glum faces. They give us hope to pursue something we are dreaming of. They act as a warning to stop us from doing bad things. They are fantasies worth imagining. Yet, just be careful because the worst thing is that generally they turn into traitors. Dreams are magical but we can never deny the fact that magic is just an illusion, a deceptive scheme to make us believe in something that will never come true in reality, and the nightmare that steals our breath in every second while gasping for air from the luscious moments that will soon turn out to be infeasible.

~darkangel~

Dear you,

Do you know how hard it is to know that you're not okay and I can't do anything about it?

It's like being with you everyday without you noticing me yet I can't stop loving you because from only you I could get the sweetest smile to remember in times of loneliness and despair.

If only time and destiny will let me,

Please Be Mine. I will love you forever.

But if not,

I will still do in any way I could.

Love,

~darkangel~

When I Met You

Breaking up with him is the easiest thing to do.

To love him with all of my heart is one thing I can't really do.

I thought I was the one who had given him the chance but maybe I wasn't. Thanks to him. He gave me the chance to realize again how immature I am to handle a relationship and how God loves me so much to let my mistakes teach me to grow and to understand this so-called "wonderful" life.

And to Him I dedicate my all time favorite song,

"There I was, an empty piece of a shell, just minding my own world without even knowing what love and life were all about. Then You came, You brought me out of the shell. You gave the world to me and before I knew, there I was so in love with You.

Lord, You gave me the reason for my being and I love what I'm feeling. You gave me a meaning to my life and I've gone beyond existing. And it all began, when I met You.

You taught me how to love. You showed me how tomorrow and today my love is different from that yesterday. I knew you taught me to love. And Jesus I will always cherish You today, tomorrow and forever."

Lord, teach me how to love You because You are the only One who deserves my life. You've given everything to me. Would You mind if I give them all back? Would You give me the chance to do so? Yes. That's the main reason why my heart is beating - to serve You with all of my heart. ALL of my heart.

Boredom

Aug. 19, 2010
9:15 pm

When there's nothing important to do, then do the most stupid thing.

There's no harm in trying. :D

The First Cut is the Deepest (my version)

I would have given you all of my heart

But there's someone who's torn it apart

And he's taking just all that I had

But if you wanna try to love again

Baby I'll try to love again, but I know



The First Cut Is The Deepest, baby I know

The First Cut Is The Deepest

And when it comes to being lucky he's cursed

When it comes to lovin' me he's worst.



I still want you by my side

Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried

And I'm sure gonna give you a try

If you wanna try to love again, try...

Baby I'll try to love again, but I know

~darkangel~

The Beginning of The End

HAHA. Actually, I already forgot this poem I wrote during 4th yr. high school when I was alone in my office inside the Learning Center. Thanks Multiply. You saved it.

This poem was written by a lonesome girl who once dreamt to be a guy but now, no thanks. It has been shown to her how wonderful it is to be a girl. A girl who has been loved by Him no matter who she is. A girl who has been blessed with a life full of love and caring people around. And a girl who has been taught how to forgive people who brought so much pain in her life. Thank you Lord for loving her that much.

The Beginning of The End

I'm sorry because I love you
I'm sorry because I care
I'm sorry because I like you
But now, I don't even dare

My love for you just faded away
'Coz all you've given me is dismay
And now, I hate to be hurt again
Memories w/ you will be forgotten

Many times I've really tried
To forget you but I still cried
My mind wants to hate you
But my heart says I love you

Confusing as it may be
To love someone like me
Who wears make-up as I do
But my life once swirled on you

Thank you for being a part
Of my vulnerable heart
I hope you actually feel
My love for you has been real

I thought it will be painful before
To leave you, I just can't let go

But now, I love you no more
'Coz apathy is all what you show

And this time I'll promise you
Anymore, I'll never love you
Neither will be concerned nor will care
'Coz I know you'll be happy there

~darkangel~