Love Rant

Katatapos ko lang ng report ko nang biglang sumagi sa utak ko na 'single ako'

Nakakatawa. Hindi ko alam bigla lang pinaalala sa akin ng kantang Tattooed On My Mind. 

Ikaw lang naman ang naisip ko nang pinatugtog ko ulit iyon.

My alltime favorite song for you.

And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind
And your face is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams

Yes I know you're tattooed
On my mind you're tattooed 

Minsan naiisip ko, ganyan ba kataas ang standards mo? Bakit hindi mo ako magustuhan? Ewan. O baka naga-assume lang ako. Ewan. Ang labo. Siguro ganun talaga. Hindi mo makukuha lahat ng gusto mo. Pero baka hindi pa rin kasi talaga oras. Baka kailangan ko lang talagang magtiyaga pa at maghintay. Pero paano yung ibang taong nakilala ko na, baka 'siya' na pala si Mr. Right pero pinakawalan ko pa dahil masyado akong nabulag sa'yo? Ewan. Basta ang alam ko, you are worth the wait. Hindi ko lang alam kung may worth ba ako sa'yo.

Gustong gusto kong sabihin sa'yo lahat ng nadarama ko pero para saan pa? Baka masaktan lang ako sa huli. Pero alam ko na mas masasaktan ako pag nalaman kong sa huli, sa kabila ng paghihintay, hindi pala ako ang para sa'yo. Pero bahala na Siya. I'll just wait. For now, kahit na may mga ibang taong 'pwede', hindi ko pa rin maalis sa isip ko na sana, sana ikaw na lang siya. Ayoko namang makipaglokohan lang sa kanila. Ang unfair naman nun. Kaya heto. I'm single. Minsan talaga nakakabagot. Nakakalungkot. Pero wala eh. This is not my time to be with someone because I'm not yet ready. Yes. I'm not yet ready to love unless it's you. Ikaw lang ang gusto kong mahalin sa ngayon. Oo, matagal na. Bakit hindi ka mawala sa isip ko? Bakit ba ikaw? 

Nasasaktan ako. Bakit hindi mo makita sa akin yung mga nakikita ng iba? At bakit may nakita ako sa'yo na hindi ko makita sa iba?

Part Of Me

There are times when you want to hate life or to hate yourself in particular but you just can't. Why? Because there are more reasons to be happy than to indulge yourself in unpleasant thoughts and upsetting episodes in life . Your friends ask you what happened because they feel something's not going right with you and you just tell them that yes, you're not feeling good and you just can't think of the right words to explain what's bothering you inside because even you don't want to face and talk about it. The worst thing is even the person you trust the most can't understand you the way you want to be understood. So what? You sit down and shut your mouth. Then again someone will ask what the hell is wrong with you and you'd agree to me that hearing that question again and again will make things worse. So yeah, you pretend to be fine to avoid being asked what's wrong with you?

Even the most loyal one can fall into something he/she promised he/she'd never do...

Overwhelmed with guilt and regrets, I hate myself for being someone I swore not to be. But being in that situation I understand how people can do the same and maybe, they also experienced what I felt or rather what I felt to be someone I disliked. Whatever I say, I can't justify what I did yet I opened my eyes to see the true reason behind such act. Well, only in my case... What I have is not legitimate.

I miss being committed to someone. I miss those mornings when I wake up and think of the person who completes my day. I miss the feeling of having someone behind my back to catch me when I don't have the strength to move on with my life. I miss having someone to care for, someone to be with during the best and worst times of the day, someone I truly love. Like him.

I miss him.

But I don't want to miss loving him.

Because I hate to feel the pain again...

The pain of loving him too much.

Though I try, I can't deny.

He's still a part of me that I just can't take away.

Nothing But My Toy

June 24, 2012

HAHAHA. Please don't give meaning to this. I'm just bored. I just want to write something new. Something that's not about love, life.. because this is something about being a... just find it out. Hoho. 

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You kissed me

Nothing special

You hugged me

Just like my pillow

You cuddled with me

No butterflies in my tummy

You stared at me

I longed for him

You got offended

I didn't care

You had many girls

I wasn't one of them

You lied to me

As if I didn't know

You said that you love me

As if you can truly love

You are my friend

But sometimes a foe

You had my body

But not my heart

You were my first

My first toy ever

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Please don't take this personally. I just love to write about whatever comes to my mind.

I May...

June 22, 2012

I'm soooo bored. I opened this blog and this is all I got. Tadah *drools* LOL

K. Fine ~.~

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I may flirt with somebody else

I may like somebody else

I may ignore you sometimes

Because you don't recognize me

I may kiss somebody else

I may hug somebody else

I may forget you sometimes

But at the end of the day, it's you that I long for

I may be annoying to you

I may lie just to impress you

I may spend too much time on you

But I just do them because I want to be with you

I may not be the right one for you

Even though I tried to be

But yes, I can't and will never be

It was written in non-erasable ink

I may regret telling you what I feel

I may feel like a dumb for doing so

I may hate myself for being impulsive

But what can I do to make you like me

I may seem desperate enough

Obsessed and infatuated

I may get jealous for no reason

I may get hurt but you don't mind

I may be overreacting

I may do stupid things

I may waste my time just staring

At your pictures I can't resist

I may be in love...

...I may be wrong

I may be right...

...I may not know

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you may not know...

Sana

June 16, 2012

sinimulan ko ang tulang ito noong Hunyo 15 at ngayon ko lang siya tinapos. hoho.

this is for creative writing purposes only. no person involved xD

paalala lng. badtrip ksi pg may ngcomment na nmn. lol.

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Ilang buwan na ang nakalipas nang

Ika'y tuluyan kong kinalimutan

Hindi madali ang pinagdaanan

Lalo na kung sa bawat araw

Bawat oras ika'y nasa isip

Hinahangad na sana andito ka pa rin

Sa aking tabi tulad noon, tulad ng dati

Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat

Pinilit kong mamuhay ng wala ka

Kahit minsan gusto nang sumuko

Ng pusong ikaw lang ang sinisigaw

Ikaw lang ang kailangan

Kahit sino hindi mapapantayan

Dahil tanging ikaw aking mahal

Ano nga bang magagawa ko

Kung hindi mo kayang suklian

Ang pag-ibig kong para sa'yo lamang

Pero wala namang kapalit ang lahat

Kahit nasaktan na't iniwan

Hindi ko kayang magalit sa'yo

Pinili ko kasing mahalin ka ng todo

Nakakasama lang talaga ng loob

Na makita kang nasasaktan sa kanya

Ngunit ano bang magagawa ko

Kung mahal mo siyang talaga

Sana magbago ang ihip ng hangin

Sana akin ka na lang ulit

Sana tayo na lang kahit saglit

Kathang Isip Lamang

June 14, 2012

at dahil ang sarap tumambay sa football field, at dahil may dalawang naglalampungan sa banda roon.. hoho

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Malamig ang simoy ng hangin na nalalanghap ko

Habang sumasayaw ang bawat dahon sa mga punong nakapaligid

Sa akin at ninanamnam ang init ng sikat ng araw

Mas mainam sana kung narito ka sa aking piling

Tulad ng dalawang magkasintahan na naghaharutan

Doon sa ilalim ng punong nag-iisang nagdurusa

Tulad kong nakatanaw rin sa matamis nilang pagsasama

Nagmamahalan na parang wala nang bukas

Nagpapaloko sa bawat sandaling sila'y masaya

Hindi nila alam na matatapos rin ang lahat

Hindi ba ganun ang nangyari sa atin?

Minsan rin tayong naniwala na pang-habang buhay na

Pero heto nauwi rin sa wala

Pawang kathang isip lamang pala

To A Proud Dad

I wrote this poem for my friend's dad :)

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I may never know him the way you do

I may never know you the way he did

But I believe he's somewhere, everywhere

Looking after the princess he raised

You're one of a kind, a precious one

A gift from heaven to a blessed man

To other people he shared what he had

He touched their hearts with helping hands

His life can never be put to waste

For he had been a treasure to many

He left with honor and dignity

A great man worthy of history

If only he could see how you have grown

Like a full-blown rose, beautiful and free

There's no doubt he would be so proud of you

You've been the best daughter one could ever be

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She will be loved forever.