That Person

I feel like writing my thoughts in this blog post. 

I downloaded a good book, Why Men Love Bitches, and I enjoy reading it. Good thing. I have proven again that I'm really a bitch. Haha. The book defined 'bitch' as:

"The woman I’m describing is kind yet strong. She has a strength that is ever so subtle. She doesn’t give up her life, and she won’t chase a man. She won’t let a man think he has a 100 percent “hold” on her. And she’ll stand up for herself when he steps over the line. She knows what she wants but won’t compromise herself to get it. She uses this very femininity to her own advantage. It isn’t that she takes undue advantage of men, because she plays fair. She has one thing the nice girl doesn’t: a presence of mind because she isn’t swept away by a romantic fantasy. This presence of mind enables her to wield her power when it is necessary."

I never chased a man but I liked one. I showed my affection. I told him what I felt and that was all. We all get hurt at some point in time. We expect and disappoint ourselves in the end. You see, it isn't all about what you can offer him. It's not about giving everything. It's not all about love. It's not that if you give him everything you'll be enough for him. You expose your imperfections in trying to be perfect for him. Be real. 

Well, despite everything I just said, there will always be an exception. You try hard to be desirable because all you want is that person. You make great efforts to get that person's attention and even if you are already friend-zoned, your remaining .1% of hope keeps you going. Yet even if there is absolutely 0% percent hope of having that person, even if there is someone out there who's willing to spend time with you, to please you, to make you happy, and to be the guy whom you need, he is not just good enough for you. You still go after what and who you want - that person. You see, there's a saying that 'you always want what you can't have.' The more you're deprived of something, the more you crave for it. 

And sometimes, being single and in love with someone who can't love you back is better than sticking with  someone who's head over heels for you but you are slightly interested with. Why? Well, because you're in love with that person. That's it. A rebound relationship will never work. Trust me. I did that already and I'm still in love with the same person. All over again.

Some guys call me a heartless bitch.

I'm not heartless. At least not always.

I love. And it makes me nice and...

...vulnerable to that person. Only.

Sometimes I want to act like a 'bitch' to that person.

But I just can't because that person makes me so soft.
Anyway, we're friends after all.
I'm content with that. 
There's no point in being a 'bitch' because I'm already swept away by...
...obsession.