'I've become so numb. I can't feel you there.' - Numb by Linkin Park

I just took the removals in PA143 yesterday. I wasn't sure if sir was just kidding or bullying me when he said that if I didn't pass the exam, then he'll give me a grade of 5. Like hello, no one can answer his exam. It's all or nothing. Students in my college know that. It's a fact. So how could he expect me to answer 60% of his exam correctly? *sigh*

That time when I held my test paper, I was so close to crying. Really. But I thank myself for having such control emotionally. I've been hurt. No one escapes from it. But after years and experiences of feeling pain and getting hurt, I've learned how to control it and to be impervious to it. However, I'm afraid. Afraid that I would fail. Because I know even if he won't admit it, my dad would get disappointed. I have an idea as to how he would respond if ever I fail, he would tell me,

'Life doesn't end there. Move on. What's important is we have God in our lives. We're blessed.'

Yeah. That would probably comfort me, in his thoughts...

Oh Lord, whatever happens, it is Your will.

You can give blessings but you can take them back if You should.