I feel sick because yes, I'm sick. This morning when I woke up, I realized that I have abnormal bowel movement and I felt like throwing up. I can't eat so I didn't eat. I just had a hot, green tea. I can't afford not to go to class so I asked grandma to buy me a medicine. I took a nap. After 30 minutes, I felt good. Thank God. I went to class and the stomach pain was tolerable. 

In NCPAG, on my way to my classroom, I met our College Secretary. I asked her about her conversation with my professor about my grade. I wasn't expecting to hear good news today but I didn't expect this day to be so cruel to me. I was so close to crying when I entered our class. I can't even smile to my friend. I consoled myself by constantly thinking that God is in control and indeed, I was comforted yet pessimism and hopelessness still crossed my mind inevitably. 

After class, I felt so weak. I wanted to go home as soon as I can. I had no enough strength to think things through. When I got home, I slept. I rested. I forgot everything for a moment. I emptied my mind. 

I refused to eat until I got so weak and dizzy. Funny, I actually dreamt of eating a chocolate cake. When I got up, I looked for food. I craved for something sweet. Grandma bought me KFC chicken meal. My appetite's gone but I tried to eat because I needed to. My body's getting weaker and I still have classes this week. I got full and I felt good. Thank God. I'm okay now. At least.

Problems and trials may steal my life's vigor for a moment but they won't stop me from hoping and praying. God is in control. 

I have more blessings to look forward to and nothing to lose. 

Lord, help me through this.

"But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently." - Romans 8:25